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| Isaiah enjoying his well earned meal :) |
Do you ever feel like you are sending your kids to the lions den when dropping them off at school? Well I do! Who will make fun of him? Will they give him a hard time cause he isn't the smartest or the most athletic? Will they make fun of him because his clothes or back pack? Will he blend in or be a peg that sticks out for kids to target? Well these are all the questions I ask myself as I send my kid up the campus from the safety of mommy's "I love you, you love me " car to his pompous charter school located on a beautifully overpriced campus in the most expensive part of town I could get him into. Don't get me wrong it's a great school with amazing teachers, in the right part of town, awesome parent involvement, but still the same snide kids lurk around the corner to push or keep down kids that don't make there idea of the mold of a kid should be.
Bullying is so hard to deal with as a mom. I know I am not the one being pushed down at the play ground or being made fun of in the class, but I get to deal with all the emotional scars that are left on my son's heart. When I was younger I never had a problem with bully's. I didn't even realize I wasn't cool till I was in fourth grade, but by then I already had a circle of friends. I was happy to be who I was and have a lil posse to call my own. Occasionally, I would get picked on but nothing that made me want to change schools or feel alienated from the entire class. RARELY did I come home crying. I was always well liked and had a best friend and was never afraid to go to school. So I have a hard time relating to kids that are picked on constantly because I was never that targeted kid. School can not only be a education of academic, but a lot of social education and discovery goes on at these tender elementary years. I always am worried that the trauma of the social aspects of school and the heart ache of bullying may not be worth the gain in knowledge in academics for my child.
So how do I say this with out selling out my kiddo -- I can't. He is a bit on the funky side! Honestly that is why we love him. He thinks creatively, he goes from A to B to W and back to C. He goes to his own beat and will never fit any mold. He is unique and born to stand out. He is such a sweet kid but not always relate-able to his peers. We as a family have definitely struggled with Isaiah being bullied for some time now. With all my might I want to jump up and attack that kid or the parent and go all ninja on them, but I find that the more I stand up for my kid the less he stands up for himself. Its a fine line of trying to be protective and teaching confidence. I want to be the momma bear. I really struggle with staying in the back round while he is at the bat with someone pitching who is way out of his league.
So the other day my son came home really upset about how a friend was treating him. On top of that he scored low on a test because he was rushing through it. He said it was because he didn't want to get made fun of cause he was the last to finish.... all in all the worst day a third grader could have. I did the typical mom thing. I gave him a pep talk about his so called lil punk friends. Then I also gave him a lesson about confidence and how it doesn't matter what other ppl think. Like no matter how dumb they say you are it doesn't make them smarter -- that speech.
After he cried and we got all settled I decided to send him off to play while I fixed dinner. If any of you know me you know we are dealing with deployment and I am on Jenny Craig so lately dinner has been tuna, cereal, or oven pizza for Zay (poor guy). I wanted to make him some thing special because of the tragedies that day had brought him. I made him his favorite... Breakfast for Dinner! But I made it extra special cause I made it with a creative twist. I arranged it so it looked like an angry kids face. I told him I made him his Big Bully Breakfast!!!! The lights is his eyes gleamed at the funny guys face and the way his cheeks were ear to ear even though they were still stained with the tears from not too long ago was heart warming. And the fact that it was his favorite food was just the syrup on his pancakes. He was so happy & excited to crush the bully. Not only did he eat his favorite meal but I remind him that HE can be in control of the bully situation.
Being a parent you never quite know when to step in or when to empower your kid to handle the situation and let them step up by themselves. That day I felt that I was doing everything I needed to in order to make MySaiah feel special and like he could handle the challenges his life throws at him. That is really all I want as a mother -- I want my kid to feel good about himself and confident that he can overcome that life puts in front of him. So in my book it was success-- I didn't call the school board, I didn't beat up a 9 year old punk, my child is not going to be home schooled. We sat there together eating our bully and laughed and talked and enjoyed the night -- even if we were crazy outcast together we were so happy. It isn't easy being a parent, but I also know it isn't easy being a kid either! I think we both stepped up and met our issues for the day head on. I could not have been prouder <3
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